FROM: Lois Lane
TO: Elmerfudd @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: Hey!
Hey Smallville,
How does it feel to have your bed back? Hopefully I didn't leave any drool stains, according to the General its a Lane trait.
Oh, don't get your boxers all twisted in a bunch. I know you are. I can picture you scowling now, so wipe it off. I'm only emailing you because you said we could continue these exchanges once I no longer lived in YOUR room.
-Lois
FROM: Clark Kent
TO: isthisloveCoverdale @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: Re: Hey
I didn't mean that we could continue trading emails just because you moved out. Only that I wouldn't talk to you through them when you lived with me, we'd end up having the same discussions in person anyway.
By the way, my boxers didn't get in a bunch. Despite what you believe, Lois, I don't freak because I see an email from you.
Also you do realize, Lois, that most people wouldn't admit to drooling. Besides it doesn’t matter, my mom washed the bedding when you left.
- Clark
FROM: Lois Lane
TO: Elmerfudd @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: It makes me wonder..
Is the remark on most people and admitting to drooling suppose to upset me? Please.. I think you forgot I'm not most people. I see no reason to be squeamish over it. What I find interesting is the lack of porn I found in your room. Now that is something to be squeamish about..especially for you. I could so picture it if your mom cleaned your room and found some, but we both know she doesn't snoop.
The lack of it leads me to believe you have a stash hidden in the barn loft, as you said its YOUR space. Why so shy? You are after all a guy..If I didn't know any better I'd say you were batting for the other team. So this leaves the boy scout complex you have.
Care to enlighten me Smallville?
- Lois
FROM: Clark Kent
TO: isthisloveCoverdale @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: STOP wondering!
Why do you even want to know if I have a porn stash? And if and I mean IF I did why would I tell you. I'd sooner tell Chloe or my mom then I’d tell you.
I don't have a boyscout complex just because I don't act like you. Or have a porn stash hidden in my bedroom for the world to find.
FROM: Lois Lane
TO: Elmerfudd @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: PORN!!!!
Aww.. did I hit a sore point Clarkie? A bit defensive about your boyscout training? And I mean training in a totally complex way
Why wouldn't I want to know about your porn stash. Seriously, Smallville, its not as if I've never seen porn before, besides I worry about you sometimes. I'd like to know that you aren't totally a lost cause.
Also was that an admittance to having porn or not? I'm inclined to think you do but its really well hidden and probably leaves you feeling so guilty that you rarely look at it. Once again the boy scout complex.
- Lois
FROM: Clark Kent
TO: isthisloveCoverdale @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: LOIS!!
Why did you have to title that PORN!!! Chloe had to be behind me at the time I checked my emails. Thanks for that!!
I am not discussing whether or not I have porn with you. Not doing it! And what do you mean a lost cause?
-Clark
PS. I'm not defensive about being a 'boy scout'.
FROM: Lois Lane
TO: Elmerfudd @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: boy scout training
You're welcome, I figured Chloe could do with a good laugh.
I'll drop the porn discussion for now. Mostly because I think its funny that you say your not defensive about being a boy scout and yet you are.
Thinking about it here are all the reasons you are a boyscout and why it leaves you to guilty to enjoy your well hidden porn stash. Sorry I lied..I am bringing it back up.
1. You can't keep a secret to save your life.. You actually admitted to your parents about the helicopter. How dumb was that?
2. You are way to nice to people even when they are rude to you. You do realize Smallville you don't have to keep it all bottled up. You can get mad at people.
2. You are way to nice to people even when they are rude to you. You do realize Smallville you don't have to keep it all bottled up. You can get mad at people.
3.
You act like everything is your fault when it has nothing to do with
you or is beyond your control. Sometimes crap just happens.
4.
Most teen boys your age are busy looking a girl over, not that you
don't but you definitely have a guilt complex. For goodness sakes
Clark.. its perfectly natural to check someone out and even have porn.
Not that I am saying it isn't ew (extremely so) but still.
As for the lost cause.. you so are thanks to your Lana lenses. Please tell me where your stash is! I don't have to see it. I just wanna know, and I bet its a boob one..you are so a breast guy!
FROM: Clark Kent
TO: isthisloveCoverdale @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: Re: boy scout training
I really don't know Lois whether to be insulted by your list or just amazed at the level of attention you've given me.
I have had my non 'boy scout' moments as you would say. I am just not going to talk to you about them. And I don't have Lana lenses on. I do notice other girls, Thank you!
IF I had a porn stash you'd never find it nor would I ever tell you. I find it disturbing your persistence on this subject.
FROM: Lois Lane
TO: Elmerfudd @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: no subject
I would argue it on you noticing other girls, but I've caught you checking me out. Don't deny it.. and of course you love the twins. Which I take as a compliment. I'm quite proud of them myself..all natural.
Its not disturbing Clark to want to get to know someone, besides it was just a question. All you have to say is “Yes Lois, I have a porn collection and it is...” and I'll leave you alone. Not another word on it.
FROM: Clark Kent
TO: isthisloveCoverdale @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: Re: no subject
I don't think you know the meaning of leaving something alone. I still find it disturbing and I am not discussing it further. Also Lois, please don't email pictures with those kind of titles. I don't want to be banned from school computer use because of the mislabeling.
Oh Lois, I thought the idea of me checking you out was disgusting? Anytime you think you've caught me doing it , which I am not saying I have, you have pulled faces or made remarks. So really you are telling me you would like it if I were to check you out ..now that is what I find interesting!
FROM: Lois Lane
TO:Elmerfudd @thedigitalwave.com
SUBJECT: !!!
THAT is not what I meant, I do not like it!! Why would you even think that? .. I just am proud of my body. Thank you!
What cha think? More to come soon for s4.
Continued in Skipping, Stalking, and Wooing
Previously - Beginnings
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