A Kleptomaniacs Confessions of Love as Told to a Monkey

Pairings: Clois
Rating: PG - PG -13..there is a few suggestive bits.. Disclaimer: I own nothing (obviously) and I just enjoy writing it. Its called fandom.
Theme: Sexy romantic, confessional..
Summary: Doctor Lemur is in the house and well listening to the rambles of a drunk Kleptomaniac in love.
Time Frame: Not long before Clark wakes up at the beginning of Fortune.

A/N: I've always wanted to write this since after Fortune aired. I mean really.. What did Clark do with his new friend..ect. At one point i was going to have them walking down the alley together and Clark babbling. but I like this as I got another idea from the Clois thread and the crazy's there about Clark and his klepto habits and Chloe's part in that. Haha.. so this was born. Hope its enjoyed.

Thanks to Nat for beta-ing  


Kleptomaniac - Someone with an irrational urge to steal in the absence of an economic motive.

♥

In his present state, it was viewed as perfect. Every item he had 'found', in his opinion, were positioned just right. She'd be so happy...it was all proof as to how much he loved her. Not a single item didn't have a story behind it, a reason why he had chosen them.

It made sense now, though later his sober mind wouldn't be able to fathom the logic and reasoning of his enchanted and inebriated self. Nor would the woman he loved be able to make any sense of it either.

Clark placed the very last and the most precious piece in his pilfered collection in the closet. Careful to lean the petite blonde back carefully and not damage her. Standing upright and even containing his euphoria might not be easy, but he still had some sense so as to not hurt her. Besides, Lois would kill him if he did.

Chloe wasn't just the most precious part of what he wanted to show Lois, she was the center piece. As much as signs,lamp posts, and other items from places they had been, would mean something to Lois just as much as they did to him, nothing would compare to having her cousin permanently in her life.

Once again, Clark planned to keep Chloe in his back pocket (or closet if you will). This time though, it was because he knew he wanted her as his best friend and Lois' too. No more Chloe disappearing. No way, no how. It would make Lois so happy.

It never occurred to him that being claimed in such away might upset the blonde in question or any other person for that matter. Not that she would ever know later, nor did she even have a chance to protest when he 'took' her.

If she had known mentioning her plans in her intoxicated state to a man that was even more out of it than her would have her end up in said closet, Chloe would have kept her mouth shut. Fortunately, her ability to stay conscious vanished just as Clark decided that he couldn't let her go. Besides, in that said state of ill logic, Chloe might have just willingly participated in being part of his love collection.

One would never know.

Turning from the closet, Clark surveyed one last time every item. His attention was drawn away for a moment by the lemur sitting on the bed post. Doctor Lemur, as Clark had lovingly bestowed on his new friend, chittered at him. He was hungry.

Clark didn’t get the message as preoccupied as he was. Instead, he sat down on the bed and turned to his furry friend and told him a story of love. How the blow up palm tree reminded him of Lois, the Luthor corp sign, atleast the part he stole, made him think of her...how he wanted to give her the world.

The monkey listened, mostly because he had no choice, wondering when the big man would give him something to eat. Hopefully soon. An ignorant Clark continued his tale with earnest affection, on the verge of blubbering as his emotions for one Lois Lane over ran his thoughts.

“You know...” he sighed dramatically, “I think she ran away again.”

Doctor Lemur gave him a long look. Clark took it as a sign to elaborate.

“She has done it before, leaving when things got a bit too much.” his voice almost cracked with emotion.

“Left when …” Clark frowned, his past love's name for some strange reason wasn't coming to him. “We almost kissed, you know...and then she ran away.”

Doctor Lemur bobbed his head; his usual companions understood it meant he wanted something. Again Clark took it as an interest in his tale of woe. “She...my lovely Lois also ran away when I kissed her. ” He leaned towards the monkey, putting his face so close he could look him eye to eye.

“If I didn't know any better, I'd think she had a thing against my kisses. But...” He smirked as he remembered the sounds he could get her to make when he kissed her. “I know for a fact she loves my lips.”

“Do you realize,” he continued, the smirk widening, taking up the whole of his face. “She has named each lip...yes...I am that good.”

“Really,” he tilted his head thoughtfully. “I'm in the wrong profession. I mean, if I am that good of a kisser, why am I a reporter?”

Exasperated at the lack of food provided, Doctor Lemur chittered again. Moving from the post to the man's lap.

Having lost his train of thought on alternative professions, Clark stroked the monkey's back and went back to surveying. “That lamp post is my favorite. We'd go for walks and always stop underneath it at some point. Sometimes to talk, sometimes to kiss...once I even felt her up underneath it.” Clark wasn't sure which of those times he liked best, though the coping a feel was near the top of his list for sure.

Doctor Lemur gave up on the sitting in the lap tactic as it was only getting him the occasional pet which was not what he wanted. So he began to search the bed for any possible food.

Clark paid the monkey no mind, continuing his ramble, “I love her, you know. So much...more than I ever thought possible. I mean, really? How does she do it? Its like she crawled right under my skin.” Using hand motions to illustrate the whole crawling under his skin metaphor, Clark shook his head with exasperation. “She must have some sort of magical power I tell you. How does someone so... bossy do that? To me?”

He looked at the Doctor Lemur with questioning eyes. “How?”

The monkey returned the look, wondering the same thing when it came to how thick the man could be.

“I mean, I'm invulnerable...well, to everything except kryptonite. But Lois...Lois just...defies that! And to make it worse...I like her bossyness. It's so...” he waved a hand in the air trying, to find the word. “Her...it's so Lois!” Snorting, Clark laid back on the bed.

“I can't get enough of her and I don't just mean her hot body,” He turned to exchange a meaningful glance with his new friend, “and when I say hot, I mean hot. The things I can do...well, the things I do do to that body. But,” he shook his head, returning his gaze to the ceiling.“that's not the point...it's not what makes me want her really.”

Clark went quiet as he tried to find words to express all the love he felt inside of him. Some of the adjectives that came to mind were not, in his opinion, good enough and some...when his mind wandered back to her hot body, were just plain inappropriate in front of such a young mind as his monkey friend.

For a second, he felt the tears threaten his eyes, the words spilling out.“She is amazing...makes me so happy...everytime she walks in a room, she takes my breath away. Every time...do you know how big my lungs are? And yet she can do that to me.”

He turned to lay on his side as if he was having a sleep over talk with a friend, “I don't tell her this 'cause it might make her run away again. But I want her to have many babies with me.” He smiled. “I want them to all have her eyes...those beautiful hazel eyes. ”

Another thought occurred to him as he found sleep trying to claim him. “I think I should have grabbed something for a baby, you know, so she knows without me telling her.” He looked at Doctor Lemur finally getting an idea of why the monkey was rummaging around his bed. Pulling a snack pack of chips from Lois' emergency stake out bag, Clark tossed it to the monkey before laying down properly on the bed.

“I do love her thighs you know,” he half mumbled now. “They are just like her laugh...” Clark wouldn't have been able to explain that comparison if he tried, but he meant it. “So beautiful...sweet in a sort of kick your ass cherry kind of way.”

The words kept spilling out, images of them together filled his head, sometimes just of talking and others a little more NC-17 rated. Smiling goofily to himself, Clark looked at the ceiling, remembing how they had painted it once already to cover up the scorch marks.

“She...does this thing you know. With her...” He glanced at the monkey.“Never mind, but it's nice.. well more than that.” His eye lids grew heavy. “I love that porchswing - it goes good with her hair...”

More than lost to soused influenced dreams, Clark felt the heat grow in his eyes and gave one last ego happy smirk as he released the heat, before falling back to sleep. Another token of his affection for one Lois Lane burned in all its glory on the ceiling.


♥

“Why do we have a parking meter?” Lois looked at the item in question as Clark placed it with the others in the corner of the living room.

“I don't know.”

“You are so weird when you're drunk.”

“I get a little leeway. How often have I been drunk?”

Lois laughed, “Fair enough, but still..there are a lot of things to return and I can't figure out why you took even half of it.” Her eyes roamed over the vast array of objects. There didn't seem to be a theme she could recognize.

“Your guess is as good as mine. ” Clark put his hands around her waist, drawing her to him. Her back pressed firmly to his front. “I do love what you did when you were drunk.”

Lois frowned for a moment, before leaning back into him, turning her head slightly to look inhis face. “What? Gamble away my ring?”

“No.” He gave a slight teasing smile, letting his hands drift down to her lower stomach. “I meant that private art show I now have.”


Lois turned in his arms now, grinning herself. “Oh that...well...call me a rebel.”

“More like a sap”

“Hey, a tattoo there is not sappy.”

“No, I guess not. But the words “Lois loves Clark always” kinda is.”

“Yeah, well...I think you should get a matching one, if it would take. It would say “Lois' property onl..” She didn't get to finish before his lips claimed hers for a deep consuming kiss.

When they finally pulled away, Lois smacked his rear and grabbed the paint bucket. “Okay Romeo... lets go. Though maybe, we should leave it?”

“No, it would be a little hard to explain.”

“Not many people see our bedroom, Clark.”

“It's not just the bedroom though, is it? We had one across the living room and a third in the bathroom.” Clark frowned, not remembering making any of the three blur symbols.

“You really do like marking your territory, don't you?” Lois giggled as she headed up the stairs. “Oh and just for clarification, we are not keeping the monkey.”

Smiling, Clark shook his head as he followed. Too bad, he thought. For some reason, he felt the monkey understood him.


♥/♥

Comments are like Cookies..feed me!

Hope it doesn't end up being disappointing. *is super nervous*

❝ A Real Cup of Coffee ❞

Pairings: Clois 
Rating: PG 

Theme: Romantic,thoughtful.

Summary: Offscreenville of what how Lois and Clark thought when they went for a cup of coffee in Pandora.

Time Frame: Right after the end Clois scene of Pandora.

A/N: Wanted to do this for a while..A sorta look at what went through Clois as they had their non date cup of coffee. Wrote it mostly in one afternoon ages ago, then didn't like it. But managed to finish it yesterday. Hopefully its enjoyed. 

Thanks to Nat for beta-ing 

❝ A Real Cup of Coffee ❞

How did they ever get here?

To a point where they weren't two barely adults bickering and pretending they couldn't stand each other. Lois mused while watching him at the counter buying blueberry muffins and coffee, taking in not only his handsome profile, but his mannerisms too. The way he was so polite; how one second he could be so confident and the next … awkward.

He murmured a thank you to the compliment the girl behind the counter gave him. Well more than a compliment; she had been flirting the whole time. Lois knew she should be annoyed, but she wasn't. Seeing him fluster and then turn to smile widely at her had caused her own heart to flutter and she didn't feel anything but happiness. Because here they were, about to have coffee in something that could be considered like a date...though it wasn't.

Clark arrived back at the little cafe table and smiled at her; so much was said in the smile that again Lois felt her heart flutter. How was it he could do that? Turn her into that kind of girl? She knew, if honest with herself, that he had always had that over her. There simply was something about Clark Kent that broke the rules she had about how to deal with guys.

Her constant challenge through the years had been in figuring out how to deal with him. Even with everything she had felt for Oliver, it had never felt like it was all out of control...but with Clark, it was different. With him, she wasn't always in control of the moment and though it could be scary, she liked it. No, like didn't cover it...she loved it. It was terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.

“You okay?”

Lois blinked, “Oh, yes. I'm sorry, Smallville, just lost in thought.” She returned his smile.

He took a deep breath and seemed as if he wanted to say something to her, but then changed his mind. His eyes never left her face. Lois tried not to squirm under his intense gaze, forced to look away as she blushed and settled on concentrating on her muffin.

She was beyond beautiful to him. Always had been, but he had spent so much time being blind to it. Convinced that any connection he felt with her were moments of temporary insanity. Clark and Lois... a couple? Who in their right mind would think that was a good idea?

He did, now.

In fact, it was all Clark could think about for weeks. Even when his thoughts left her to deal with other matters in his life, they always turned back to her. That was how he knew. The way she swallowed him up and yet, instead of feeling crushed, he felt free.

The Lois Lane effect. He wanted to tell her that he didn't just like her, didn't just want to be Clark and Lois - the unfathomable couple. He wanted to tell her he wanted more. That he had fallen for her.

Opening his mouth, the words didn't come so he snapped it shut, staring at her as if to try and understand everything that made Lois...Lois.

When she looked away and he caught the slight blush, it caused a warmth to spread through him. He did that. Clark wanted to be the one to always make her do that. She had no idea how amazing she was to him.

The girl he had claimed was bossy and rude. And yes she was those things, but they were a part of her charm. Clark didn't even want to imagine a Lois without them.

Funny, when first meeting her, he had wanted to flee the feeling he so strongly embraced now. All his super strength and invulnerability couldn't stand against the girl with dyed blonde hair, a lethal tongue and wicked way of turning his world upside down. She had been able to touch something deep inside.

Why had he run from it for so long?

Needing, no craving her touch, he slid his hand across the table and took her own. The feel of her fingers around his sent a pleasant shiver through him.

Finding the words and confidence, Clark asked what he needed to know. Catching her eyes when she looked up from picking at her muffin, he asked, “Can we go out tomorrow?”

A smile, a shy smile, peaked at the corner of her lips and he returned it.“On a date,” he added, wanting and needing to say it.

There it was again. That mix of the shy farm boy and sexy confident man. Who turned her, Lois Lane, into someone she always wanted to be deep down. A woman who didn't have to be impervious all the time, someone who could feel her heart without worrying about it being broken.

She hadn't always felt that way. At one point, he had been the biggest fear she had for having a broken heart...because he could get past those shields. Now, she let them down and found it wasn't so hard.

Since returning from where ever she had been for three weeks, it had been growing. Along with erotic dreams and a sadness she couldn't place.

Like at any moment, she expected the world to crumble down around her. Then his green eyes would look into her own and that feeling would turn into a need to hold him. What was it about Clark? It went beyond how he made her feel, to something else. At times, it seemed she could see into his soul and what she saw didn't match the simple farm boy turned reporter.

Lois knew, she always had, that Clark was different. What you saw wasn't really who he was, but she could not define it. She had tried. Even pretended she didn't notice, but lately, along with her growing feelings for him, she couldn't ignore the weight hidden in his eyes.

Clark Kent - the mystery. Clark Kent, who some how had stolen her heart.

Now he was asking her out. Both the confident man and the awkward boy.

“Yes.” She couldn't leave it with such a simple answer. They were on the verge of something and her need to find some footing came through.

Lois held up a finger, stopping him from responding to her answer. “How about something simple? A movie?”

“A movie?” It was obvious he had thought of something more public.

“Yes, a movie. I mean we both enjoy movies, we could rent one and talk. I think it would be a great place to start. That is, if you really do like to watch movies with me...” Her tone had taken on the ramble vibe.

Rent a movie? He could sense the panic in her eyes. Not for dating him, but perhaps for what it meant. Could he blame her? No.

Neither of them had the greatest record. It hadn't quite been an hour since she had voiced this concern and he had reassured her they'd take it slow...they'd get it right.

Reclaiming her hand that she had pulled away, he stopped the ramble.“Lois, I'd be happy too. Can I make you dinner?”

It wasn't just his words that calmed the sudden storm inside, it had been his touch on her hand. She looked down at their hands - his large one around hers. He made her feel so safe.

Nodding, she looked back up and found the other reason the storm calmed. His face. He was relaxed, wearing a smile that said she could trust him, with eyes filled with a mix of apprehension at rejection, and dare she even think it? Love?

“Dinner? I'd love that Smallville.”

After an exchange of smiles and a small awkward silence, their mutual passion for a story came through. Work was the safest thing to discuss on this non date and they relished it. Fell into the familiar pattern of banter and besting.

During the conversation, Lois realized that there was something else that drew her to him. That while he may not be Mad Dog Lane or had a need to even be on the front page, Clark did have a strong sense of justice and a desire to write the truth. To get to the bottom of things when others wanted them hidden. He was there for his friends, even at the risk of his own life.

How he had taken the bullet for her only a couple of months before was still heavy on her mind. How he had risked his life on the ledge of the Daily Planet to save her was also there. Clark didn't need the super powers of the Blur to be a good man.

A man worth taking the risk for.

When they got up to leave to head back to the Planet, it was in these thoughts that she once again took his arm without any hesitation. She didn't notice the beaming smile that appeared on his face. Not that it mattered; it would have been there just the same.

Clark had spent the remainder of their coffee break watching her, enjoying the ability to appreciate everything of the moment and not feel like he had to hide it. It didn't seem to matter if she noticed it or not; not once did she seem uncomfortable. Rather, Lois had given every indication she liked the confidence he felt.

She had no idea she gave him that confidence. How she did it, he couldn't explain and he didn't need to.

The walk back was different than previous times, but thrilling. Now all the undertones between them didn't have to remain subdued and yet there was no need to rush anything either. The balance was a little awkward, but even that was fine. They would find it together, their pace, and Clark looked forward to testing the waters and exploring the mystery that was Lois Lane.

Arriving at their desks, they went back to familiar ground of pretending; only this time, trading looks that spoke of wanting to slip away. Neither did though; they worked. When Clark received a text from Chloe that she had somethings to show him, he found it didn't stress him.

Lois had given him a freedom from worry over a possible future. One he was determined to change. Though it was one that showed him how deep what they had could go. This time, it would not be in circumstances surrounded by death and despair; no, it would have hope. He had hope.

Grabbing his jacket, he exchanged one last look with her before leaving with the excuse of a source.

Stepping out into the sun, he took his time, unable to stop the smile on his face or the happiness in his step. Today the sun was shining, Lois Lane was safe and they had a cup of coffee that was only the beginning.

ஐ

Feedback is Cookies...please feed me! ..Was it boring, good?

Impulses and Choices

Theme: Sadness/heartbreak
Spoiler: Read at your own risk. This fic is for a scene from Prophecy.
About this fic:

Despite the sadness of the final Clois scene in Prophecy i loved the moment, for me it had been coming and it made sense that everything of that day had caused it. This is about how I feel Lois was thinking and feeling.

The ep wasn't 100% perfect, but for myself, I really liked it and cant wait to find out how Clark gets her back.

Thanks to Ebatcl for being my ever patient Beta!


*


That morning she had felt alive, busy but alive, ready to take on anything.

Now she felt hollow, guilty, and not sure if she could face any of it.

“Maybe Jor-El wanted me to know what it felt like to be you...”

Oh, she learned and because of it, nothing could ever be the same. She had been unable to get the voices out of her head, the cries for help, the need of others for Clark, for the blur. At first, she had simply used the power to get ahead in her overwhelming schedule, which really hurt no one. Then the impulse to help had come in, to know that if it was Clark out there, he'd have stopped, so shouldn't she? Besides, to be aware there was a flood or a robbery and not do anything wasn't in her nature. Normally, it would have meant her getting into trouble, possibly way over her head, but with Clark's power, she didn't need to be saved - she could save others.

“We're as bullet proof as your...my skin.”

Fated words. Bullet proof but not invincible, a revelation that hurt. Not only was Clark her weakness, but she was reminded that she was his. And neither immune to the love between them, love that could drag them both down.

“See Lois, you are his greatest weakness, or should I say the blur''s greatest weakness...your death will break him.”

She had fled then, not wanting to be that weakness, not wanting to hold him back. To sacrifice what she wanted, needed, so he could do what he was destined to do. It had felt right and though it had hurt, she had been resolved to it. For Clark's sake.

“What if you're exactly the thing that might help him be the person you know he can be? What if you're the one who makes his burden easier to bear?”

Was she? When she first came back from Africa she had thought, “I'll help, but I won't get to attached”. But then she got weak. He had stood there in the barn, handsome and confident.

“Lois get over here,” and she melted, she forgot all the plans to just be his friend.

“When it comes to big secrets, I'm not exactly Mata Hari. I could blow it all for him.”

In the end, it wasn’t her knowing his secret that would blow it, it was her...her weakness for him, his for her. She had faced Winslow with the intent of answers, a bravado knowing she couldn't show weakness, not expecting him to know Clark's secret or for Clark to be in danger. The bravado had been replaced by fear and in that fear she had made a choice on impulse. Glancing at her watch, knowing the power would be transferred soon. It was a gamble, but she had faith in Clark to overcome her, even if she feared him being attacked by others. It had felt like the right choice at the time.

“With every great relationship, Lois, comes a great burden and the strength to carry it."

Strength. She had assumed and thought she had that strength. She had waited three weeks for his return, holding on to hope and every last bit of strength in her. Then that night, after they had talked, they had made love and she had felt complete, like they were invulnerable. But in light of her blaring weaknesses, of his choices, of the fact she knew keeping him to herself was selfish, how could being with him be strength?

She was impulsive. It was her impulses that put her in this position. How could that be good for him? Could she really sit by and be with him when he was needed? The guilt was overwhelming, only out done by the breaking of her heart.

There was one last bit of strength in her, to do what she knew needed to be done. To let him go.

“You're not my weakness, you are my strength. Okay?”

Clark with his big heart, with his words that any other day would have healed her heart. But not now.

Looking into his eyes, she knew how much he loved her, how much he meant every word he said. He did not see what he really needed.

She could not be selfish. He would move on, she had to hope he would, he was stronger then her, had a better heart. Clark Kent did not need Lois to be a hero, she would not be his kryptonite.

“I'm sorry, Clark.” Words spoken from a broken heart, more pain when her eyes caught his. She told herself again that he was strong enough.

“I'm stronger when you're around anyway.”

No, Clark you're not. She knew this, today was proof. She was impulse and he was choice. Lois Lane could not have her Smallville...her home at the expense of the world, of the hero they needed.

“I can't marry you.”

In that moment, as the last of her heart crumbled and she saw in his eyes his fell apart too, she told herself that no matter what he said, she could not give in. Clark had a destiny that went beyond her.

He did as he always did, when she laid her head upon his chest, his arms went about her. He held her, though she knew she had hurt him. Once again, he proved he was the better one, the one strong enough; she did not even have the strength to look at his face a moment longer.

She was impulse and weakness. He was choices and strength.

*/*



Feel free to comment ...

Held

Theme: Grief

About this fic:
This fic is about loss and is dedicated to two of my sisters who have both experienced whats in this story. I can't write it as one who has, but as someone who grieved on the outside looking in. Someone who could only imagine what it is like. I felt this scenario could work for Clois and perhaps this fic is a bit of an emotional release, its the only thing I can really give to those who have been dealt this hand.

Please be warned it deals with the loss of a child so if you are faint of heart you may not want to read.

The song doesn't exactly match the circumstances but the emotions and grief in the song however does, and its a song that always makes me cry.

﹌

HELD...by Natalie Grant 

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.

The house was quiet, no cheery voices rang out, not even a whisper of what once was. Neither spoke as they came through the door. What was there to say in that moment, what could possible be said that would comfort.

Laying her purse on the counter, Lois sighed and watched as he gently placed what remained of their hopes on the table. He stared at it. She knew what was going through his head, the thought – this can't be real.

But it was.

To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Clark ran a hand over the surface, feeling the engraved letters, wanting to turn to his wife and tell her it would be okay. It was a promise he couldn't keep, he had already failed.

He finally found the courage to turn and face her, see in her hazel eyes only anguish, no blame. But he blamed himself. She had pleaded and begged, cried that night like he had never known, there had been nothing he could do.

Now she reached out for him, needing to be held, to feel safe.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?

His arms around her broke the dam that had held back so many tears from the day, crying silently she buried her face into his chest. Why did he not blame her? She had failed to keep what was so precious to the both of them safe. Knowing there was nothing that she could have done did not change the misplaced guilt, the sense of loss. The worst fear she had ever had; had come true, to be rescued from it was not an option.

Kissing the top of her head Clark buried his grief, for her he would remain strong, be there in these moments. Maybe some how he could make it up to her..

He heard the cry of help but didn't want to go, as if sensing he was needed she looked up and gave him the silent permission he needed. Life had to continue, even if they were broken.

We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

At the end of the hall was an open door.

Swallowing back tears, holding the precious cargo to her chest Lois made her way to the room, down the hall that had never seemed so long.

A rocking chair in the corner, a crib setup against the wall. Bedding, covers, curtains, and wall decor with their blue and yellow print that promised happiness, decorated the room. The shelves were lined with little stuffed animals and nicknacks, gifts in anticipation for the little one.

She turned, taking it all in, remembering it had only been a week ago this room had echoed with laughter.

"Smallville... just a little to the left. "

"Good?" he had grinned so big at her.

"Its perfect."

She had smiled back, delighting in the way his hand spread over her swollen abdomen. Laughing softly as he bent down to speak to their son.

"Just giving you a heads up little one.. your mother.. she is demanding."
"Haha! Clark.. if anything he's gonna be like you.. a momma's boy!"

Pushing aside a little stuffed pig and dinosaur, Lois placed between them a teddy bear holding an urn. Her fingers brushing over the fur, unable to touch more then that. It seemed some how appropriate that her baby should be held, forever cradled in soft arms.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Unable to again stop the tears, she fought the desire to run from the room. There was no place to hide from this pain. Six months she had held that baby, given her heart, felt the life inside her. Six months then gone. Torn from their lives, all the promises and dreams, hopes and wishes. Here they were left to pick up these pieces of love.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

"I am sorry I left.." She heard his words but could only stare at the crib.

She sensed him move closer, he continued with sorrow in his voice, "Lois.. I'm sorry it wasn't enough."

Shaking her head ,she adjusted the blanket on the back of the crib. "If it wasn't for you...we.." A sob escaped her, recalling that night. Clark's panicked voice as he sensed the change in the babies heartbeat, the pain that flooded her, the realization that she hadn't felt the baby move in hours.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

"It wasn't enough!" he choked out.

Turning, she found him standing in the middle of the room with tears streaming down his face. Lois went to him, enveloping him in her arms, she wasn't the only one trying to endure.

And you survive.

Held in the only arms capable of restoring hope, he cried for the first time since it they had lost their son. Lois didn't fight her own tears or the sorrow that flowed through them both. Sighing, as his arms came around her, she felt her legs give out, he brought them both to the floor.

This is what it is to be loved.

Time passed in the little room that had been full of promise. Sitting in the middle of the floor as one, they held on to what remained, the memory of love for a life that had been theirs. A baby taken, a loss that could never be replaced, a child that would never be forgotten.

"He wasn't ours to keep.." The only words she could give the man she loved, wishing it was more.

And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

﹌

For Olivia and Angel who will never be forgotten..

❝I Wish We Had More Time ❞

Episode: Idol- the beginning scene but about events from Pandora. Included a little of my own offscreen moment.
 
This is a One shot.

•

Warmth. A sensation she wanted to be wrapped in, because it wasn't just any warmth, it was his. Though his arms were no longer around her, his body heat from just lying beside him was a reminder of a night unlike any other. She tried to avoid the memories of the day before and thoughts of what were to come. Lois wanted to stay and linger in what happened between them.

She had fallen for this man and truth be told, she had never really expected him to feel for her what she felt for him. But with his words "I died when you left..." she felt something inside her shift - she had believed him. His eyes had been so empty it broke her heart and she wanted to show him. Show him how much he meant to her.

The red rays of the newly risen sun demanded to be noticed, breaking the spell of sleep and wanted comfort. Reluctantly, she pulled herself from the mattress, wrapping the sheet slowly around her as she made her way to what was left of a wall. The wind blew against her, but she did not feel the chill of it, not with what lay before her. She stared out at the broken city, one of many across a crushed world. How had Clark expected to save all these... on his own?

The sight of it all, the desolation of a city she had come to love... Metropolis was imperfect, full of crime and weirdness, but also good people - people who deserved life and liberty and justice. The quiet, empty, barren street below bathed in red light reminded her of the look in Clark's eyes...not just broken but forsaken.

She knew he was behind her before his arms came around her. There it was again, the all too short moment of security and safety that she only felt with him. Briefly closing her eyes, she leaned fully against him. Why did being with him mean this... a world gone wrong? This was not how it was suppose to be.
"I wish we had more time..." 

His tone carried far more meaning then the words. Lois knew he felt as she did, but this was all they had.
Perhaps all they would ever have.

Lifting her hand she found his face and turned, her hands caressing gently until her arms found their way around his neck. Lois didn't want to leave his embrace.

Searching again for the man she had fallen for, the man who could light up a room. She found instead someone broken, who stirred her soul in a completely different way, but the love for him was the same.
Clark didn't want to take his eyes off her, afraid Lois would vanish, that again he'd be alone.

Her presence moved him, the cold detached part of him that he had built up over time began to thaw. It may never completely leave, but he could not be with her and not feel.

He had told her he had died when she left and the words had been spoken with a truth bared from the very depths of who he was. The death had been long and painful... confusion, pain, regret, grieving, failure, anger ...all led in the end to becoming someone who refused to feel.

Failure from the choices he made, the cost of the life such as his father Jor-El's, the loss of so many other lives because he failed, the trust of his friends because he could not cope.

The anger came mostly when he thought of the one woman who could have helped, but never showed. Charged full of kryptonite and capable of fighting Zod, or at least could try to. Yet Lana never came... it had angered him, but somehow he had never been surprised.

What stung the most, in recent months, was never knowing what happened to his mother. Was Martha one of the many causalities in Washington or among the scattered groups of survivors?

It was his inability to find Lois, her absence that had been the hardest to bear -the grief and heartache, realizing that he had missed his chance. That he'd never see her or know what had happened. Knowing he was robbed of the chance to tell her how much she meant to him and that he was sorry for all of it. Now he looked into the hazel eyes he had longed for and knew he'd have to let her go again.

Today she could very well die as she fought alongside them, because he knew he could not protect her. His only hope was that if they failed to stop Zod, that she'd live and he'd survive long enough to send her back and prevent all of this from ever happening.

He had no pretense of seeing her again past today. Possibly even beyond this moment.

The feeling of pain and coming loss passed between them. Eyes unable to tear away, he felt her hands message the back of his neck, the unspoken question. He could not answer her; there were no words to tell her of what was to come. He wanted to say that he'd see her later, that it would be okay, that he was sorry she was here. But a part of him wasn't sorry... her coming back into his life brought back just enough humanity in him to give this one last try.

Most of all,he wanted to tell her he loved her, that their night together wasn't just because today their lives might end. It meant more to him than that, she meant more... she always had.

He saw her eye's flicker to his lips for barely a second and brought his mouth to hers. Wanting her to know all he felt...that she made him feel again.

Lois clung to him, bringing to the kiss the same feelings, saying back what neither could say out loud. When they parted,his eyes held hers and again she wanted to say something, to ask him to tell her how he was going to defeat Zod... why bringing back the yellow sun would help him. But for once Lois Lane had no voice. It was lost just as the old Clark was. Though she could see and feel in him an improvement from before he was still distant, something had broke inside him.

She could only hope that if they survived this day, somehow won this battle, that maybe Clark would come back, not the shell but the real man - that they would have their chance. She didn't want to keep looking in his eyes and seeing what she saw now, nor did she want to give him up.

Swallowing against the fear and sorrow, she leaned the side of her face into his.

They stayed like that for several minutes - breathing in union, not wanting to let go. When she pulled away,she felt the wetness on her cheek and realized he had shed a tear.

Grabbing his face one last time Lois kissed him, felt him pull her closer.

Words between them both finally came, as she held his face in her hands.

"Don't...Smallville...please!" A soft plea.

"It's because of you I can..."the words came out pained.

Sighing, and unable to grasp the significance of what he said, Lois pulled away defeated, but able to understand that it had to be done.

Lois had never had any real regard for the 'live or die together' mentality. Yet in that moment, as her hand took his and Clark led her away, she believed in it with all her soul.

She refused to live in a broken world without Clark.

•

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KissFire ღ°

A/N: Mostly about the Crossfire kiss with bits of hydro thrown in
One shot - Rated T for Teen

ღ

She smelled of cherry and a hint of vanilla.

That was what his mind clung to as he replayed the moment again and again in his head. How she smelled, the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her, the softness of her lips. The way her soft hair felt as it brushed his fingers. Everything about her had been intoxicating and it lingered...a week later and it still felt so real. So right.

He knew he was falling deep for her, right over the edge and he didn't care. For once, there was no heartache involved in wanting someone...her, even if she did take off, right out of town.

Lois Lane embodied everything he wanted, even if it had taken far too long to notice it. He wasn't sure when it had happened exactly or how, but one day she wasn't just his friend, a good friend, she was this woman whose presence lit up his life. She made him want more.

He knew as he stood looking out over the sleeping city from his crow's nest that he should feel worried, and truth be told he had been. But Chloe had reassured him more than once Lois would be back, she just needed space. He knew Lois enough to know this was true and knowing she was coming back caused his heart to beat faster at just the thought.

When she did come back, Clark had vowed he was going to ask her, ask her out on that date. It drove him crazy every single day to look across at her and feel the way he did. He had wanted to touch her, feel her lips on his but in all honesty, he hadn't expected to just pull her into a kiss.

He shook himself and bent down a moment, angling his head to catch a particular sound from the city below. Once he was sure the situation was resolving itself did he stand back up and went right into thoughts of her...and that kiss.

How could that woman take him and turn his insides into gel, make the gray world bright and do it with just the smile on her face? It had hurt to lose Jor-El, to have him die in his arms and never get the chance to know him. But Lois, just the thought of her...she made everything alright. Memories of her touch and the knowledge that she would come back took the pain and eased it.

He knew from the moment he had reentered his life as Clark Kent and Lois ran into his arms at the bullpen, that nothing would ever be the same. When she had put her arms around him and rested her head upon his chest, he had felt such a powerful surge of emotion, a complete sense of well being. She was what he needed, nothing else would ever compare or make him feel this way.

Her lips on his, their tongues dancing around each other, the slight sigh that escaped her and had spurred him on...

The kiss, their kiss, again played across his mind's eye. Clark Kent felt on top of the world as he smiled looking over the city below and its world of troubles. He had kissed Lois Lane...and there was nothing that could bring him down. The sun could turn red and the world could be lost, but what he felt for Lois would never die, this he knew with all his soul.

ღ°

His hand moved sensually up to her thigh, alongside to her back, his body was pressed tight to hers, they moved in rhythm. It was like heaven, no experience before could compare. She knew deep down that he alone would be the only man to make her feel this way. 

Their eyes met, she could see the passion and desire in his blue-green eyes. Her mouth grabbed his, fingers dug into his back, bracing. They moaned against each other, he buried his face in her neck as she threw her head back. This was where they were meant to be, Lois and Clark... lost in each other.

Dressed in puppy decorated pajamas, Lois moaned in her sleep, hand griping the pillow, her breathing becoming quite heavy. It wasn't until she turned over and her fingers brushed the glass on the night stand, knocking it down that she snapped awake.

Clark...

She had been dreaming about Clark as she had done every night since she went on vacation. Okay...correction, ever since she ran away.

But what else could she do? The man was a little hard to ignore, and he had kissed her...

Oh, that kiss! Lois took a deep breath and got up, frowning when she stepped onto the soggy carpet. After cleaning up, she went to stand by the window, not really seeing the view. The dream replayed in her head, it felt so real, just as real as the kiss in the bullpen.

Closing her eyes she saw and felt it all again.

"I'm sorry... I never should have tried out in the first place or dragged you there with me ...and I just..."

He suddenly pulled her to him, his lips crashing onto her own. Her first thought had been 'is this real?' then it had been ' Clark..it's Clark kissing me'. The urge to fight it had died fast with the effect his lips was having on her. How could he do it to her...send such heat down her spine all the way to her toes. His aftershave filled her senses, making her acutely aware of every bit of him.

Closing her eyes, she found her hand reaching up for the back of his neck as his arms went around her, pressing her softly to him. Later she would never be sure on who deepened the kiss but it didn't matter, Lois had lost herself.

Time held no meaning. Her fingers found their way into his hair, she explored and she let him explore her mouth. She had never been kissed like that before...except once. Clark could kiss like, better even, than Ollie's Green Arrow impostor and it left her wondering what else her Smallville could do.

After several intense minutes it had ended, again she wasn't sure who pulled away first, maybe it was just the mutual need to breathe.

A sigh escaped her and he locked his eyes with hers. They stood flush against each other, breathing and Lois found herself smiling. He had really kissed her! And the kiss had been anything but mild.

Lois had been hoping that she had been reading all the signals right, not doing a repeat performance of the year before with him. The kiss had been so unexpected and she wanted to just stand there in his arms.

When they finally parted, it was because of where they were at - the bull pen of all places. She hadn't had a clue what to do.

They sat at their desks trading looks, and Lois found herself marveling at what happened. It wasn't until later, after hours of awkwardness, when she went to leave for home that it really hit home. Clark Kent had kissed her... Lois Lane. What did that mean exactly?

Suddenly all the fears had come rushing in and Lois bolted. Poor Clark, she thought. He had smiled at her, his fingers brushing hers as he handed her her purse. He probably had thought he'd see her the next day but by then she had booked her vacation.

So much for a vacation though...

She couldn't escape Clark. Dreamt about him in ways that caused her cheeks to be constantly flushed, thought about their kiss which had her often grinning like a loon. How was it that the man could make her feel so.. .so.. .elated? Happy? Excited? Like a fourteen year old girl after her first kiss. Damn him. She was scared to bits about what it all meant and yet it had been the best moment of her life.

Lois had no intention of repeating the same mistakes. Some how she would face him when she got back and deal with this in some sort of reasonable manner. How? She didn't have a clue. It was Smallville...the man she knew deep down she was in love with even if facing that thought was at this moment impossible. She'd rather face a firing squad then admit it. But she was.. .in love with him.

She had convinced herself the feelings were what happened after you get a bit of a crush, which was to be expected after years of hanging around hunky farmer John and his adorkable good guy ways. If there was anyone she could count on, it was Clark... even with the flaky disappearing acts, weird behavior, and general brain death from Lana, the man had actually been there for her. So of course a crush would happen... who could blame her...he had one heck of a six pack.

Lois groaned and shook her head in an attempt to get Clarks body off her mind.

Okay Lois you have done enough day dreaming on that tall, masculine, well toned.. STOP!

Sitting down on the bed, she put her head in her hands.

Be mad, Lois!... He invaded your personal space, kissed you, and now you're having nonstop erotic dreams. Stop being happy about the kiss! Be angry... When you get back...Kick. His. Ass!

With that thought firmly in her mind, which amused her to no end, Lois curled back under the covers to sleep away the last few hours before the sun was at a decent position in the sky.

His body felt hard pressed against her own, she was aware of his fingers in her hair. She let out a soft moan into their kiss and found herself flushed against him. His tongue teased and played, daring her, it was a dance she couldn't resist even if she had wanted too.

Suddenly the sounds of the bullpen were gone and she was in an alley. Strong arms around her, green leather pressed into her, she could feel him and his desire. Never mind she was the one who had yanked him to her...he was the one now in control. His lips caused hers to tingle, the way he kissed was so .. .consuming. She had never been kissed like it before... then she pulled back as it hit. This was not Oliver. 

Lois sat up this time, putting a hand to her brow. "Oh. MY. Gawd!... Clark was the impostor..."

She pulled the covers back, eyes wide, then sat on her knees instead of getting out of the bed.

"He was in the Green Arrow suit!... Smallville kissed me then!... He let me tell him how great of a kisser he was!" She was now standing on the bed, practically yelling.

Covering her mouth she glanced around the room, thoughts ping ponging everywhere but never leaving Clark.

Slowly sinking back down to the bed she fumed. "No wonder he was smirking... ! I can't believe it... "

She had always suspected he knew Oliver was Green Arrow but her, Chloe, and Clark never outright talked about it. But now she knew. Well two could play the ignorant game.

Suddenly all anger left her when she realized how very awkward it must have been and the remarks Chloe had given to Clark. At the time, she had just passed it off as Chloe and Clark talk which they had... but now. Rolling her eyes, she laid back down and stared at the ceiling.

It explained so much weirdness that had happened the week after. Oliver and Clark had been a little off, Chloe had kept dropping obnoxious remarks and Clark had been extra awkward. Then, she had assumed someone had done something stupid and she just wasn't in the know. She had figured she would find out eventually and nail whoever it was with her own brand of torment.

Biting the tip of her finger, a slow smile spread across her face. She was going to find a way to enjoy this revelation. She would return, and one day soon when her Smallville wasn't expecting it, she would have so much fun with him. No one could fool Lois Lane for long, she had the kissing sense.

Just thinking of kissing caused her to imagine his lips on hers again. Lois groaned - she was a lost cause and she knew it. One kiss, okay two kisses years apart, and she was reduced to a giddy girl, all because of one former plaid wearing farm boy.

"I need help!"

ღ °

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