Rating: PG-13 for innuendo, oogling, looking at underwear and sexy ending. Nothing explicit.
Time Frame: During the time after Clark donned the glasses. Everything else is whatever you want.
Disclaimer: I own nothing (obviously) and I just enjoy writing it. Its called fandom. I own nothing but the characters I made up.
Theme: Desire, sexy fun, awkward moments.
Summary: The sales ladies of Victoria Secrets have a problem. One Clark Kent keeps coming in.
A/N: This is because of the crazy and fab Cloisers on the Clois thread and the conversation about Clark buying Lois underwear and being Victoria Secrets number one customer. So thank Rianna, Ebatcl, and Perfectly Lonely for this. Its their fault.
Thanks to Nat (Ebatcl) for betaing this story!
Hope you all like
(Tall, Dark, and Handsome)
It started out innocent enough. Just replacement shopping.
The situation had simply been to replace what he had, in passion, destroyed. She hadn't even asked him to. But he was thoughtful like that, especially since, as of late, it had been happening a lot. It came down to the fact that he could not be patient enough for them, her clothes, to come off her body in what he felt was such a slow way. Plus, he liked the feel of ripping her clothes right off her and she seemed to be completely turned on by it.
Buttons popping.
That was the best part.
Sometimes, they'd both stop for just a moment and stare at the buttons; smiles would grow across their faces, lips would collide, hands would touch with even more intensity - all just from the sound of a little button popping.
They had a problem. Well, not really. It wasn't as if they didn't enjoy it, but Lois was quickly running out of undergarments and shirts. Clark had a feeling he was going to need an extra job to cover the cost. There was no way he wanted, or could stop the cause of this “problem”.
So now there he was, replacing her clothes. A few blouses first in a similar, if not exact, colour and look as she had before. He even made sure to know which stores to shop at. That had been work in itself, if he was to surprise her. Asking Lois where she got her clothes and specifically underwear from, without triggering off Mad Dog Lane's sniffing skills, wasn't easy.
Clark Kent, her fiancee, believed he had accomplished this.
He certainly hoped so.
The last store on his list made him pause. It wasn't that he had never been in one. A few years back, he could remember shopping with Chloe and Lois and being dragged into one. Of course, knowing how they could be, especially together, it was mostly to embarrass him.
Clark liked to think he handled himself pretty well.
Maybe he had turned a slight shade of pink, but only slightly.
The Victoria's Secret signed loomed in front of him and he reminded himself it was underwear and lingerie, not a sex shop. He could easily do this. Taking a deep breath, he pushed up his glasses and straightened his tie. Choosing to see it like a mission, a rescue or anything else that would help prevent the blush from creeping into his face, Clark walked in.
That was when innocent and simple went out the window and he didn't even know it.
Nina watched the tall, dark and handsome man come in. She just about had a coronary on the spot. Her eyes roved over him, and though he had a geeky feel to him, it couldn't hide his undeniable sex appeal. Totally her type. Telling herself to breathe, Nina picked up one of the magazines and fanned herself as her eyes trailed his movements.
Libby returned to the front desk after measuring a costumer to find her co-worker in a state. “What is it? You alright? Don't tell me I missed Dobson.” Dobson was the hunky security guard that worked at the mall; the girls always looked forward to catching sight of him on his rounds.
Shaking her head, Nina managed to say in a slightly cracked voice, “Front of store!.. .a T.D.H factor 10!”
Eyes widening, Libby moved to go have a look, see if she could offer help in anyway. Factor 10. This had to be seen up close and pronto.
Initially, with his back turned to her, she could see that he definitely filled in the T and D. He was also dressed nicely, if a little geekily. She could forgive this. Besides, geeks were “in” and often kinky.
Keeping in mind Nina's reaction, as they shared the same taste, Libby tried to prepare herself as she cleared her throat and waited to look at the H factor 10.
“Can I help you?”
First thing that caught her was his green eyes. They found hers and for a moment, they were strong like steel and yet, she could drown in them as if they were liquid velvet.
~ Who was lucky enough to have this set of eyes on her everyday? ~
He smiled and the green eyes did something unexpected - they lost their steel and matched the shy and somewhat awkward smile he was wearing. His voice though, did a completely different number on her. Her legs went weak at the sound of it.
“Uh...hi... yeah, I want to uh.. repl..buy my fiancee something nice.” Not even his verbal stumbling could hide the deep, sexy voice.
Libby grinned softly at him, finding his sudden shyness to be quite adorable. “Of course, sir.” Then the words computed that he said fiancee and she forced the smile to stay on her face.
~ Damn, someone sure got their claws into this one. Even in glasses, they get grabbed up. ~
“Do you have something specific in mind?”
He seemed to freeze for a second and took a moment to respond. When he did, some of the steel was back in his face, but mixed in with geek. Libby gave an inward swoon.
~ That was so hot! No wonder he was already taken.~
“Yes.” Clark glanced around, trying to find something like what Lois had worn the previous night. He felt warm, just picturing her in it - the feel of it, ripping between his fingers. He turned and pulled at his collar while he looked. Leave it to Lois to defy his Kryptonian heritage and make him sweat.
“Something like this.” He quickly grabbed a bra and panties set that was almost identical to a pair she had worn last week, that he had also ruined.
Libby nodded, “Ah, yes. We have other colours and even a few prints. I am sure you know her measurements.” Her eyes were drawn to his large hands as he fingered the material. She was going to need a break when he left.
Clark nodded and took a paper out of his pocket and handed it to her. It wasn't hard to act clumsy when he was feeling really uncomfortable. It was made worse with how the sales woman seemed to find anything he did appealing; he could read it in her eyes. He had seen that look enough in Lois' to recognize it now.
“I uh...think she'd like it in red or blue.” He added.
Forcing herself to take the paper and note the measurements, she gave him a winning smile, “Of course. I”ll find exactly what you need.”
~ Stupid fiancee of TDH Factor 10 with a side of Geek kinky.~
Clark let out a big breath as she left and went through a few more racks trying to find more. He wanted to get this done fast.
He only got away with three, before he heard the cry for help.
He almost didn't come back to the shop, thinking they probably figured he wasn't coming back. What Clark didn't know was that they were desperately waiting for him too. Everything was ready and all he had to do was pay, the two women taking turn making eyes at him. It was uncomfortable. He wanted out of there; he had never paid for anything so quickly before in his life.
Upon his leaving, Nina and Libby let out long breaths, both equally hoping his fiancee would need more so they could see him again.
Their wish came true. Clark and Lois were unstoppable and under garments were just too easily ruined. What were they to do?
The second time, to save Clark any further trouble, Lois was supposed to come with him. But unexpectedly found herself tied up at the Planet and never met him outside the shop. Txting her, Clark caught the two ladies and another watching him, just waiting for him to enter so they could inwardly salivate over him and curse his fiancee's existence. He didn't need to know the details of their thoughts to feel uncomfortable.
He was relieved Lois' failure to show up wasn't an emergency, though now, did he bail and come back later or go in?
He went in.
Not by choice.
Sarah had decided she wanted to see what Libby and Nina had been spazzing out over during the past week. Could the geeky guy standing in front of the store with the deer-caught-in-headlights look really be a T.D.H factor 10? And to boot, be back to buy more underwear for his fiancee?
He turned away as he talked on the phone and it only made her want a closer look, in case he bolted. She had seen enough men do it before. So she pounced. It was a spur of the moment decision when she saw the way his body filled out the suit and how gorgeous his eyes were.
Just as he turned to leave, she found herself standing in front of him outside the shop.
“We're having a sale,” she began. He looked cornered for a second, like he was still going to bolt.
“I promise it will be worth your while.”
Clark managed to fight the urge to swallow and when he glanced away, his eyes caught a sign. It was just as she said, a sale. That meant money saved.
Besides, if he chickened out and there was no 'blur' save to cover for him, Lois would have great fun with his failure.
He pushed his glasses up and followed Sarah in. If he had seen her face then, he'd have felt like a mouse in a trap.
This time, as each lady took turns helping him, he allowed himself to be a bit more decisive so he wouldn't be in there too long. While it actually became easier for him to shop and feel less self-conscious, and even tune out the dopey looks and husky voices of the sales ladies, they, on the other hand, went from simple infatuation with the T.D.H in their mind to full blown obsession. He was their new Dobson.
Clark walked out that time with two more bra and panties sets and two lingerie pieces he hoped Lois would like. If not, he'd be back to return the latter. The ladies had assured him that his fiancee would love them, but there had been a sort of vibe that had him wondering if they even believed him on Lois' existence.
Libby was sure she did, but Nina and Sarah were convinced otherwise. They felt he was trying to impress a woman or multiple women. Sarah said that perhaps he just needed the right woman to take interest in. Libby pointed out that he technically did no actual flirting with any of them, and if he wasn't engaged, that made all this lingerie buying quite creepy. She only found solace in the fact that none of what he bought could fit on him, so cross dresser was out of the question. Even Nina and Sarah let out a breath of relief on that thought.
Much to the three's dismay, the T.D.H factor 10 with a side of geek did not make an appearance the next week or the week after. So caught up in their day dreams and new found musing of who he was, they completely forgot to even mildly watch Dobson go by. Dobson was beginning to get his feelings hurt, not that it mattered to them.
It was a month before Clark came back and by this point the three had taken to fairly serious debates as to what his name was, his occupation, and how he sorta resembled Superman a little bit. Occasionally, a squabble left one of them miffed for several days. They needed him to come back. They needed a dose. They'd never get a chance to see Superman but atleast they could enjoy this T.D.H.
Clark, for his part, came back only because of a request from Lois. He had a feeling she was getting a kick out of him shopping at Victoria's Secret for her. When she had turned her beautiful hazel eyes on his and bit her lip, he couldn't refuse her anything. Actually, he had been so busy watching her lips and eyes that he hadn't immediately registered what he had agreed to that morning.
It was unfair when she used pillow talk against him.
He had no defenses against it.
With no idea of the level of their obsession with him or that his appearance was feeding them, Clark went in boldly, throwing in just the occasional clumsy act. But his boldness made them melt, the geek act made them swoon and whenever he talked, they just about melted. That time, he was in and out of there within ten minutes, but it was a glorious ten minutes for the ladies of the shop.
Over the course of weeks, Clark came back in repeatedly, unable to resists Lois and her enjoyment of new underwear. While some control on tearing them had been found, they were both enjoying the way she looked in them, how they slid off her body, far too much to stop shopping now.
Clark and Lois had even worked the new 'past time' into their budget.
The desperation to know his name had grown to an all new height after the seventh trip. Sarah, Libby and Nina had done just about anything to get him to say his name. For some reason, he hadn't and none of the names they thought of seemed to fit him.
They were being driven insane, slowly.
It had even come to the point where when the ordering had been done, more things in Lois measurements had been ordered. Clark hadn't failed to notice this, but felt grateful he didn't have to hunt as much. He was actually starting to enjoy his trips, well atleast, the mental images he had of Lois as he held up each outfit. There was a sense of freedom in being able to chose something for her and a delight in seeing her reaction. Even when she didn't like it, which had happened twice, they had managed to have a laugh and...well, more.
Nina watched him as she usually did from behind the counter. She had an excellent view now, since they had rearranged the layout so his face could be seen majority of the time from where ever he stood. Unless he had his back to them, which wasn't bad since he had a nice rear end when he decide to take the long coat off. But since he usually kept it on, they made sure everything in his supposed fiancee's size was positioned so there was no logical reason for him to face away from them. She was pretty proud of how well it worked the last few times he had come in - it had been her arrangement after all.
Now she was enjoying the pay off.
He was wearing the expression that had her wondering what went on in his head. It was slightly naughty, that look. Probably not intentionally, but that hardly mattered. It was enough that she could gain something from watching him.
She was mildly listening to Libby trying to rush a costumer who had chosen a bad time to come in. Some of the female patrons were kind enough to not interrupt and join in the T.D.H watch, but others seemed oblivious to him. Nina had to admit she found it disturbing; she had never been able to fathom that her type wasn't always everyone's type.
With the customer pushed off, Libby came to stand next to Nina. Ogling their favorite patron, Libby remarked, “A longer stay than normal.”
“Yeah...” Nina replied dreamily.
“How long has he been standing there?”
“Hmm...oh, about five minutes now.”
Libby eyed him a moment and then placed her measuring tape on the counter. “That's it.” She whispered.
Nina tore her gaze from Clark, “What's it?”
“This not knowing his name. I can't take it. I'm gonna go find out.”
“How?” Nina asked incredulously.
Holding up a form, Libby smiled, “We get him to special order.”
“He turned Sarah down. She asked last time.”
Libby snorted, “Sarah has the finesse of an elephant in a china shop. I am the smooth talker.”
Shrugging, Nina turned back to watch Clark. She didn't disagree, because it was true. Lucky for them, Sarah didn't work as many hours, so she couldn't intimidate the T.D.H.
“Well, since he is moving on to the half an hour mark, you better get over there. I'm surprised he has made it this long. None of his weird disappearing acts yet.”
Libby watched too for a moment, “Yeah, what is that about? Where do you think he is going...or doing?”
Letting out a deep sigh, both woman watched as he moved to another rack, giving them a good view of his legs. Nina whispered to herself, “Take the coat off, take the coat off!” Before turning to answer Libby, who had mentally joined her in the chant.
“Your guess is as good as mine. I want to think he is a spy or something, but knowing our luck, he's probably disappearing off to do something creepy.”
Libby and Nina groaned at the exact same time as Clark slipped off the coat, revealing the shape of his sexy chest in the vest. This was their favorite look for him, so far.
Grabbing the nearest mag, Libby fanned herself before straightening her top. “I, for one, think it's more than likely his job.” I hope so, she thought.
Heading over, she put on her most charming smile, trying not to be too flirtatious. “Do you need any help, Sir?”
~ TELL ME YOUR NAME! ~
Clark looked up from musing on the lingerie in front of him. The teddy or the other one that he didn't even have a name for? What was it even called?
“My wi..my fiancee and I are going on a trip soon. She's suppose to meet me here.” He glanced at his watch. Typical Lois Lane timing. But she promised, this time he wouldn't be on his own.
“I see. You want something extra special. ”
Clark nodded, once again marveling at how easy this kind of shopping had become.
“No problem. When is your trip?”
“In three weeks.”
Libby did a mental calculation on how quick they could get something in. It could work. Beaming, she held up the special orders catalog. “You could order. There is some very nice and sexy items we don't carry normally in here. Anything ordered today would be in by the end of next week.”
Clark took the proffered catalog, and looked down at the page she had opened it too. His eyes widening for just a second. It was all very tasteful, elegant even, but they were extremely sexy. He swallowed at the image of Lois in one of the sexy fantasy outfits that formed in his head.
Libby had long since given up hating his fiancee, who she truly believed existed. Rather, she found herself grateful; it meant he wasn't a creep and it had brought him in time after time for her to ogle. Whoever this woman was, had caused him to pull the most naughty and guilty expression. It made her mouth dry.
Clark was saved from having to reply when the mag was suddenly and abruptly taken out of his hand, breaking Libby out of her own moment too.
“Oh, Clark!” Lois almost purred at the sight on the pages and the idea of wearing one of those for him.
Nina started to squeal out his name from her place at the counter. She ended up putting a hand over her mouth and turning away, dying from embarrassment.
Libby wasn't fairing much better either. She was to engrossed in repeating 'Clark' to herself over and over again to even be annoyed at Lois. It took her a moment to realize she was still working. When she did, she found Clark and Lois both staring at her.
“I'm so sorry, did you say something?” She asked, hoping to god that her zoning out had only latest a moment.
Lois raised a brow, “ No. Though I do have a question.”
“Yes?”
Glancing at Clark, Lois asked with a smile teasing at her lips. “I know you probably don't, but I must ask. Do you carry anything for men?” She waggled her brows, “I'm looking for something tight fitting, maybe leather or leather like.”
Of course, Lois would ask that.
Clark groaned and Libby just about fainted.
Three weeks later, Clark sat in a hotel room waiting for his wife, fiancee to the rest of the world, to come out of the bathroom.
The door opened and he stood.
“Who has been a naughty man?” A sultry voice asked from the door way.
Clark swallowed. “I have.”
“Sorry, I can't hear you?” The most sexiest sight on two legs he had ever seen, came into view. It made him weak in the knees. He sat back down on the edge of the bed.
Clearing his throat, Clark managed louder, “I have been a...”
It was just a touch awkward to say it, but he'd say anything with the look she was wearing on her face, “...naughty man.”
“Good, because I only take the naughty ones.”
His eyes couldn't seem to leave her, not that he wanted them to. Each movement of her hips, thighs, chest was tantalizing. He wanted to do naughty things.
Before he knew it, she was standing before him. Her hands going for his slacks. “Mmm. Is my very devilish boy wearing his pants?”
“Lois...” Clark grounded out. She looked beautiful in red and the horns definitely suited her. Especially with what she was doing to him.
“Yes? Are you?”
He gave a sigh and went to touch her, but found a pitchfork pushed into his chest.
“Nah uh uh.. the goods, Smallville. I need to see the goods.”
“Yes, I am wearing them. They're a little tight!”
“Aww. I wouldn't worry.” She pulled him close, her lips only a hair's breath from his. “They won't be on you for long.”
“Mmmm...mmm.”
I had a great deal of fun writing this and while it meant delaying updates to a few other stories, I think I needed the break from them as I was starting to get a little frustrated with certain scenes. So this ended up being a bonus in that way.
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